Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
