whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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