I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Actions speak louder than pants.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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