I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
