Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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