Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Sober January is a disaster.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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