You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
