just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm really busy with my period
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