I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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