i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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