Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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