i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i will never coherently bang her
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize