Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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