i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
