im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
