you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
