College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
