i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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