Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It was confusing and full of hummus
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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