I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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