What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
