Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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