Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
