K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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