I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
