$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
