operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
