Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
