I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This is the high leading the old right now
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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