I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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