Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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