Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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