We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
