I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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