And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
