We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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