And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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