1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize