somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
