Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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