Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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