We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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