Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Its about making memories worth repressing
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
