I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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