3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
