I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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