Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
