Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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