Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
