lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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