I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
