That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
