We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
