Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
