I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize