I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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