Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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