I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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