you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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